Will the world be mine again?!

In my last high school year, I studied for my official exams at my grandmother’s house. My grandmother lived near a dormitory where almost all its habitats were students attending a nearby university. Having a full month for studying is quite interesting; it’s more time than needed, thus, some entertainment patters start to form.

Back then, it was in late June and June is a month of final exams for the spring semester. Most of the students in that dormitory used to study late at night, and sleep almost all day, I had a different schedule, I used to wake up early in the morning, and sleep early as well. This schedule was not very efficient, since when I decided to sleep, the university students start playing loud music preparing themselves to start studying.

The trendy song back then was “the world is mine” for David Getta. One evening, as I was having dinner, I hear a loud song start. It was the world is mine, I really liked it, and it gave me so much energy. I could really feel that the world was mine. I had a couple of months left before I start university, a new world waiting for me, the real world I thought.

Every time I used to hear that song, I used to recharge energy that would remain 24 hours intact. What better sensation can anyone have more than feeling that the world is his? And when a person is almost 18, this sensation is tripled and quadrupled. I knew that the world was mine, and it just felt Wow!

The feeling of uncertainty about the future mixed with a feeling of what the hell is the future bringing me and topped with a strong belief of “I’m doing it my way” was the desire that woke me up every morning saying “Damn! I’m alive”

I had it all, or, let’s just say I thought I have it all.

Today, five years later,

After attending university full time, and having a full time job simultaneously,

After graduating and starting a career;

After having lost a lot of people I cared about,

After living alone and taking responsibility of a house,

After loving and not seeing other than the loved one,

After thinking that I have friends then wake up one day to be totally alone,

After trying and trying yet never satisfying anyone,

After knowing that a lot of people’s life mistakes will come one day to hunt me,

After unfolding all the closed cards on my life’s table; I ask myself is this what life is all about?

Will the world be ever mine again?!

Then I remember when I was 18, and when older people used to wish they were my age and I used to get angry at them. I do the same now, I wish I can get back to being 18, and to actually believing for a second that the world can, and is mine.

Is that the course of life? Is it true that life is like a graph that starts from below, climbs up, up, then reaches a certain peak, then goes down?

Is it true that when we are 18, the world is ours, and couple years after that, we grow up to know that there are more than 6 billion other persons that share the same world of ours?

Will the world be ever mine again?!

2 thoughts on “Will the world be mine again?!

  1. your world is yours, not one of the 6 billion sees the world the way you see it, so yes the world is yours whether you like it/want it or not

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