How many times have you dreamt of starting your life all over again?
Starting with new friends, new job, new house, maybe adopting a new personality?
I know I have dreamt that for so long…I don’t want to be reborn again, hell not! I cannot go to school again for 15 years, or attend university… No! That’s a no no!
What I am talking about is getting out of ones environment, traveling somewhere far, new, and having a second life.
Having no friends, no family, no relatives, and no one, just you; and starting all over again. You can start a new job, live in a new house, and make new friends, while applying all the things you have previously learned learnt, in your “previous life”.
How many of you have long known that your relationship with one of your friends was a waste of time and energy, yet, it is not that easy to stop talking to that friend. Probably you have been friends since kinder garden, and it’s not easy to break such a friendship.
How many times have you wished that all your parents’ problems stop hunting you?
How many times have you wished you never met person X, nor even became friends with them?
Nevertheless, when you get the chance to start your life all over again, you decide whose e-mail not to answer anymore, who to delete from Facebook, and whose phone call not to answer if ever they got your phone number by a mere mistake. You can even change your name…
I personally am fed up from the people I know, from the fact that I am always there for them, and yet none of them is there for me. Everyone thinks of themselves only. I was revising the course of my life, and then noticed that none of my friends was there for me when I needed them, while on the contrary, and stupid enough, I am always there for them.
And this is because I have always been there for almost everyone I know, and no one is understanding that I have feelings too… people want to see me to tell me their problems, to confide in me, but I don’t want that anymore, I could have went into clinical psychology if I wanted to listen to people’s problems, and just help them…
Hello I am a human being, I have feelings too!! Is there anyone that wants to listen to me?!
And yet there are those horrible memories from the past that keep on opening up every time you meet an old friend. Or plainly when someone just opens up the issue. How hard is it to have closure? Some people I know just never have enough… It’s like having a wound and someone is constantly rubbing it. It can never heal this way.
When I get a second life and start all over again, I will have a list of the things I have leant written down and will use it as my daily bread to remind me of all the bad things I have gone through. I will not make friends, just acquaintances, and then I know what to expect from those acquaintances.
I have a friend who decided to do that, he got an emigration to Costa Rica, he removed everyone from Facebook, he deleted people from msn, and never answered an e-mail. That is smart, he got fed up from the life he was living, and decided to change… decided to start all over again in a new home.
I treated people the way I wanted them to treat me just to teach them how to communicate with me, but that didn’t work, people are egoistic beings that can only think of themselves, and that is frustrating me. I just cannot change the course of humanity…
In my case, I can get a second life, a life far far away from who I know, what I knew and everything in between.
In my current situation the maximum that I can do is close my mobile phone, so no one can reach me, but how long can I hide from people, how long can I demure ignoring them… not so long, not long enough….