When was the last time that something bad happened? A failure, a miscalculation, a problem…
How bad did it feel?
Didn’t you just surrender and give up?
Did you try to change your feelings towards it?
What did you do?
People have different approaches to solving problems or let’s say approaching problems, let me tell you about my experience.
In general I can call myself a happy person, I simplify things, and try not to nag; but there are those times when something happens that just shakes me and I can’t help but get angry and even sad. And I am sure that this applies to you, no matter how positive people we are, there are times that we just cannot help it!
Here’s what I usually do, or let’s say what I learnt to do to change my angry or sad approach to a more positive one:
1. Accept it: It all starts by accepting all the anger, all the sadness, do not repress it. Just let it out, get sad, get angry, and cry if you must, let it all go. This also includes blaming yourself, blaming people, wishing it didn’t happen. It’s a trip you cannot skip, pass through it or else you cannot solve it.
2. Go to a friend: I believe that the one of strengths found in people is their ability to unite and interact. Go to a friend, in friend, I mean someone close that you trust to talk to, plus you trust that they will give a good advice. Your friend bight be a friend, a sibling, a parent… I usually go to my boyfriend; he is my friend, best friend, brother… The most important part for choosing your refugee is trust in all its aspects. (you should trust that this person will really change your mood) Definitely when you go to your friend, he or she will not know instantly what’s happening and for the first 5 minutes they might take you in to their world. They might be eating and give you a bite, they might be watching TV and integrate you with them, or they might be sad and you might end up forgetting your problem and help them, but this is not our case today 🙂
3. Talk: after a while your friend will notice that there is something wrong and this is where you can start talking. Talk, say it all, repeat the first process of accepting, but this time say it don’t think it. Talking helps you get things out, and believe me it’s the biggest remedy. Sometimes when you talk, you hear yourself, and something might change in you.
4. Listen: definitely after you finish talking or as you are talking your friend will intervene and point out some issue, listen to them and accept them. People see things differently and they can advise differently. This is related to the separate realities that I talked about in my previous post. People see things differently so they can advise differently.
5. Laugh: after crying, talking, blaming, listening, there comes laughing. Laughing should come, I don’t know from where it comes, but it needs to come! It might be laughing with your friend if he or she can make you laugh or watching something funny. Make sure to laugh or else the whole healing process will not be completed.
6. See other friends: After laughing, you need something positive to distract you and put you in a different mood. Meet up with your friends, go out, have a drink. Your friends do not know what’d going on with you, thus they can change your mood without knowing it. Plus people exert a very positive energy when they interact. Accept that energy and use it as your remedy. (Make sure that those friends are happy and positive friends, don’t go with your nagging friends)
7. The best solution will reveal itself the second day: After passing through all the previous steps, you can sleep and when you wake up, things will make sense by itself. Just believe that it will.
Try it, and share your experience!
Remember: Life is short; there is no need for us to spend it sad!