The Oxford Dictionaries define self-confidence as “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgment”. Wow! That’s a very good way of putting it. I would like to emphasize the words “trust in one’s …” why?! Because this is showing us that self-confidence is a reflection of an internal state, it’s the way we see ourselves. So, since it is personal and sometimes private, how hard would it be to fake it? I read an article that depicts the aspects of self-image which the writer supported it by an interesting story about Marlyne Monroe.
They say that Marlyne Monroe was once walking on the street with a friend of hers, she was feeling down and sad so no one knew her on the street. Her friend was surprised how people were not recognizing her and asked her what might had been the reason. Marlyne looked her friend in the eyes with and replied sarcastically “do you want them to recognize me?” All of a sudden everyone started staring at her, trying to approach her asking for an autograph. The story tells us that people did not see Marlyne Monroe until she became herself. It wasn’t until she acted as Marlyne Monroe that people recognized who she was; that gorgeous, sexy and full of confidence attitude.
The reason why I am sharing this story with you is to tell you that it’s all about how you perceive yourself! Whether you are a self-confident person or not, there are times of low self-esteem and low self-morale that will get our self-confidence low.
Here are 12 pieces of advice that will help you fake a more self-confident you:
- Stand tall with a straight back: when people are standing tall with a straight back, it makes them look strong and confident. Why don’t you learn to stand tall with a straight back and start the optical illusion of being a confident person.
- Dress nicely: as we said earlier, confidence is an internal attitude that comes from within. So if you are wearing something nice, you are happy about it and confident about your look. So make sure that you wear your nicest clothes every day. Donate any pieces of clothes that make you less happy and less confident and if you can, invest in new clothes and a new self-image.
- Learn body language:there are some postures and hand gestures that convey confidence, strength and power. Why don’t you research these poses and start using them as you fake your self-confidence? Here’s a tip, the power pose is a good pose to portray self-confidence. It’s when you put your hands on your waist while standing tall or facing someone. But don’t overdo it!
- Speak up:it is known that people who are shy tend to speak in a low voice. If your voice pitch is low, start trying to increase it. I am not suggesting you speak in a loud voice, this might damage your image, I am only suggesting you talk in a higher voice so people can easily listen to you.
- Speak slowly and articulate well:when you watch good politicians and political figures talk, you notice that they talk slowly and articulate well. Why do you think they do that? They want everyone to be able to understand what they are saying. Plus, they are not nervous about what they are saying, they know exactly what needs to be said. People who tend to talk quickly do not want the persons in front of them to understand what they are saying thus they speak quickly and get on with it. Learn to talk slowly and articulate the words well.
- Act as if you know what’s going on:self-confident people always know what’s going on and they have things under control. Even if you do not have everything under your control, act as if you do. No need to show people around you that you are worried, and keep an eye on what’s happening while you figure out a more convenient solution.
- Maintain good eye contact: shy people do not even dare to make eye contact, if you are on your way to becoming a more self-confident person, you need to learn to master good eye contact. Good eye contact will make you look stronger, give you more power in a conversation and it will help you learn a lot about the people you are addressing.
- Never give excuses even if you are to blame: some people tend to give an excuse for even breathing. Learn to stop giving unnecessary excuses, save your energy and be more productive.
- Stay positive and speak positive:when people see “you” positive they tend to be jealous from you. Why? Because it’s harder to lead a happy life, it takes a lot of courage, a lot of self-discipline, and a lot of hard work! So the self-confident “you” is always happy, he/she always speaks positive and is leading the best life anyone can ever dream of… are you understanding where I am getting at?!
- Find a confident role model:we all have people to whom we look up to, be it your parents, a religious figure, or even a successful business person. Identify a role model who possesses a lot of self-confidence and start following his/her trend. Write down the traits you think they make him/her seem as a self-confident person and start practicing. Beware, some traits might lead to negative consequence such as arrogance. Take your time to identify which traits to adopt, and be picky!
- Complement people around you: it takes a confident person who doesn’t feel threatened by anyone around him/her to complement others on their beauty, clothes, actions, etc. So why don’t you start learning to complement the people around you.
- Fake it till you make it!
Do you have any other steps that you would like to share with us?
To which of these 12 advices do you agree the most?
Would you add any advice of your own?